Since she
read “Peter Rabbit” when she was just a little girl, she started having
conversations with herself. Mostly in the bathroom, having a bath or taking a shower,
while undressing and dressing back again.
I guess it
happened in the bathroom because it was her true solitary moment where she was
alone to think about herself, so she thought of herself aloud.
Firstly she
started talking to a little man called “Mcgregor” she talked to him to ask for
advice and his opinion about things that had occurred during the day. Mysteriously
this little man was always younger tan her but he was wiser, that how she had
made him up.
Later on
she would take him on her trips, her suitcase was a bus for this little man and
his family. Mcgregor had a family and she would time to time ask him about his
mother and sometimes she would ask if he had a girlfriend yet. Mcgregor would always
answer her questions. She knew his voice came from her lips but she never
worried about it, she loved speaking, wondering and asking things, all sorts of
things to Mcgregor.
Time would
go by and she wasn´t anymore a little girl, now she was pretty much a girl ,
and she wouldn’t have so many conversations with Mcgregor , but she did have
them , she knew that he was talking to her though her voice but she never
really cared. The funny thing was that she had stopped asking about his family,
now she only talked to him to wonder about his advice about love, that´s how
she called it. He would always answer with enthusiasm about this sort of
questions. Many times he would tell her you don´t focus on love you are
obsessed with relationships. She would agree with him but never take his advice
really.
Interestingly
Mcgregor spoke in Spanish all of her childhood but later on he would speak
perfect English as well and a few times he spoke French too.
One day
when she was a woman not just a girl she thought of Mcgregor not as someone
“external” , she realized that Mcgregor could well be her inner voice. That
talked to her so he would be clearer on his answers to every questions she
asked.
The last
questions up to today she asked Mcgregor was:
-How come
you are a man if I am a girl, how come you represent yourself as a man if you
are my inner voice ¿?
- What does
that have to do with anything ¿? Does it matter ¿? Don´t we all have both sexes,
genders and everything inside us ¿? Do you feel any different projecting me on
your mind as a man o as a woman¿? If you want to know about my nature you
better think about it yourself.
This was
the first time Mcgregor would question her and when it happened she felt
humble.
